♥하루 120 - Little things #1

Friday was my grandpa's committal service. It goes without saying, everybody's emotion was at the lowest point as this ceremony marks the end of the funeral, and of grandpa's time here with us. It was certainly heartbreaking to see my mother wailing in pain, and my relatives sobbing when the cremation occurred, as that represented a final farewell to grandpa. 

Here I quote my mother's words during the service yesterday, 

“当亲人还在世上时，要好好的对待他们；不要等到没时间了才后悔。” 

When your dear ones are still here, treat them with your best before regretting when they are gone. 

Most of the time we tend to take our family and friends for granted. We take their words, their actions and their sacrifice for granted. Always, we are also prone to not notice that as time goes by, the chances of appreciating these people gets lesser and lesser, till the day when we come into realization that we might not even be able to appreciate them any more. That would be dreadful, wouldn't it?

Another thing I felt like it's noteworthy and needed to be properly mentioned is the gratitude towards everyone who attended the funeral, especially brothers and sisters in Christ who isn't even related to our family but offered so much help within this period. Your attendance has simply given our family so much strength and encouragement. Thank you very, very much. ☺

After the ceremony, we had lunch with all the relatives and headed to SS2 with big bro, momoke and joyceet to buy the bookshelf we have been meaning to purchase since last year! (after a series of moaning, whining and persuading ofcourse). This is definitely a highlight of my week, cause getting a huge bookshelf and stuffing it full of books has always been on my list of Things To-Do. 

Well yes, we got the bookshelf (it is HUUUGEEE and only cost Rm 350! Free delivery! So much win) Buying beautiful things (that is cheap) is unfailingly a satisfaction in life. So upon having the bookshelf (it will be delivered on Monday! I can't wait!!) I came home and started cleaning my desk which I never even use anyway, where I have this drawer (mainly cause it could be locked but after awhile it got so full I couldn't even close it anymore) I keep all my memories in the form of all kind of things. (like homemade soap. a ton of papers. safety-pin necklaces and letters and bottles. etc etc)

Ya, seriously. And these are only 50% of the stuff, those that I still want to keep. hahahaha!

I'm taking a break now for a bowl of cereal (honey gold flakes from hero market yesterday! Free 150G honey stars leh so worth it!) while typing this up.

 I have got quite a number of notebooks and diaries written from age 11-17. I particularly like sticking food wrappers in my book for some reason (err not sure if I washed the wrappers or not) Anyway, gosh it gave me shudders when I went through what I actually wrote. It is SO childish I cannot believe I used to be so disgusting. What was I even thinking?!

 There's also a lot of letters, cards and messages for different occasions along the years. Most of them made me feel very nostalgic and some very funny to read - it is comforting to know my friend is much more childish than me back then. HAHAHA. This letter from "your secret admirer" (nicole lee) is one of the cutest card I've received just look at that beautiful picture from my wedding. Hehehe.

 Ragged concert tickets 

More notebooks - notice purikura with 6K classmates! Choco banana pocky cardboard has my form one timetable drawn on the other side.

 Bet you remember this! Primary school that time very "heng" one lah hahaha unfortunately mine very horrible one full of disney princesses but I used to like it alot! My sticker comes in pink and baby blue which were the nicest colours in the world to me back then.

A small mountain of movie tickets (another mountain in my wallet), ice-skating rink entrance tickets and lots of other tickets that marks my visit to different places! (love the genting express pass, so much happy recollection! ☺)

 Some post-it notes I also don't know why I keep for.

 10 cent paper bag that made my day! 

 So many letters, messages and cards from years ago that made me grin widely again. These things never get old.


p/s Only took photos of things that is near me and convenient to take or things that needs to be shown to the world. For example,

A murderabilia from Jess Lyn.

You didn't know she was that kind of person right?!

I told you don't judge a book by it's cover.

Nah she's actually very nice - only that she prefers planning her schedule in detail 20 years beforehand.. T_T

A very nice love letter (in pink!!!) from Pn Revathy. (I kind of miss her now - striding across the dataran every morning and shouting at students. Don't we all?)

And a song we wrote for our best friend for her sweet 16th party, which cost her quite an amount of tears. And smeared make up. Hee hee hee. 

Kylie Pee we love you!

 There is also a piece of Hui Ching's 15th birthday celebration evidence! (It is pizza. Literally. From the free Star newspaper and everybody got a slice of it!)

Here's a photo from my beauty campaign at Italy.


Haha, just kidding.


There are also alot of photos, purikuras (which I tried to take photos of but my face in it is really too ugly to reveal on this blog). I think how we don't get thick hard-cover albums filled with printed photos any more is pretty depressing.


Technology is very good and all that but it's no fun when it's taking over the physical and traditional methods of preserving memories .. this is so sad. So I try printing as much epic photos as I can when there is a discount for photo-printing cause the service is actually NOT cheap. 

My barbie's old wardrobe! I sew these myself but unfortunately they are too small for their disproportionate Barbie bodies. hmmph.

My old tambourine ring! Haha I have a few of these, they fell off one by one noisily during worship and that is a very amusing memory. Not to mention embarrassing. Well unfortunately our desperate attempts to rescue the tambourine didn't work so I ended up bringing those disappointing rings home into my memory drawer.

So far after going through the stuff I'm overcome with 80% disgust and only 20% nostalgia. I read through the things I wrote in my notebooks and ok. It is decided that those pages of words will be forever only between the notebooks and me. Don't even try. 

Anyway I've an awful news to announce soon! Stay tuned to this blog keh.

(It's not that awful, just that it's still quite unacceptable. To me. - Eeeeek.)

And it's Monday tomorrow! I get to see the children at daycare, and the kids at Promise Home again! I'm pretty eager cause I've been off for days and I miss giving them Facts Time and Drawing Time and yelling at little girls playing with bubbles in the bathroom. Great week to y'all too!

Goodnight.

xx

♥하루 119 - My Grandpa

My father called my name from downstairs as I readied myself to snug in with a book after my shower. Irritated, I trudged down with my pile of dirty clothes in one hand, a novel in the other, and my favourite purple towel over my shoulders.

"grandpa has passed away just now, inform your brothers and sisters there will be a funeral tonight."

Surprisingly, I didn't burst out in tears like I thought I'm sure I would two months ago, when grandpa fell sick again, and we sang softly by his bed in the HCU unit of the hospital, watching his every painful grasps of breath, the efforts made for every difficult rise of his chest, and the tubes sticking out from his nose and wrists, the heart rate monitor giving out random beep's, indicating his life in squiggles that we could not understand.

Granted with the only grandfather since birth, he is definitely not the typical grandpa all my primary school classmates have, the kind who chase them around the house with a spoon and a bowl of porridge, either is he the kind who goes for tai chi with nearby friends the similar age 6 am every morning, or the kind who sits in a rocking chair and tells his grandchildren interesting war-time stories with animated expressions.

In fact, I have not properly known my grandfather at all half of my lifetime.

When I'm younger, he always seemed like a frowny old man my mom always make us call 'gong gong' whenever we went over to my eldest uncle's place to visit. I have never seen him smile or give us chocolates or tell us stories. I was closer to my grandma, who developed alzheimer's a few years back. I learned how to speak cantonese from her, and I remember her asking for her purse a million times a day, showering for 5 times a day, or I remember smuggling money from my piggy bank for her to take a bus home, which later a heavily loaded purse found in the recycle box my dad was going to clean out.

 but no, I have not properly known my grandpa at all.

Momoke, though, have many times told us stories about grandpa being mean to them throughout their childhood. Hitting them for faultless blames and have never shown an ounce of care towards his children.


However, these traumatic experiences momoke had, she always transformed them into funny stories and lessons for us to learn from.  

I always had a feeling that mom had a dysfunctional childhood (the Japanese Occupation does that and a lot more), but a few years ago I can feel that momoke had fully forgiven him. Since young, momoke had cultivated in us the lesson of filial duty, a display of family affection that can not be forgotten. (despite how much or less love they had sacrificed previously, parents are parents.) I've learned to respect and frequently visit my grandparents - I would undoubtedly keep that close in heart for my own family too.

My grandpa and grandma never had a loving relationship, whereby they get pissed off whenever we make them sit together for photographs during celebrations, and they'd face the opposite direction of each other angrily. When they're younger, my grandpa used to be the loud and hot-tempered one, whereas my grandma the more considerate and calm for their children's sake, but now the roles have changed. 

My grandma scolds vulgarities at him while grandpa sits and listen in amusement.

It has always been a good laugh when we watch in amusement, too and hurry to snap the photos and cut cake before my grandma gets sooo pissed off she'd decide it's time to leave. 

When I first encountered the news of grandpa leaving, I was astonishingly calm. In fact, I would have heave a sigh of relief. He has already lived life of a century, seen his great-grandchildren grow into beautiful, active kids and went through a compilation of life at its unpredictable forms. He was sick again and again, many times critical, but yet my grandpa had shown true, invincible strength. He was tough like how he was throughout his youth. 

Despite looking frail and alot more thinner, and despite the struggle to inhale every mouthful of breath, he held on. We thought we'd lose him there and then at the hospital bed that night, when his heartbeat rate was slowing down to a decrescendo. 

But he made it back home, surprising us with the remarkable vitality of a 101-year old. I thank God for gifting my grandpa a long and prosperous life, and I thank God for welcoming him in the Kingdom of Heaven, where he'd be transformed, looking handsome again in the love of God.

A photo with my cousin, and a rare smile on my grandpa's face ☺

When I asked momoke "Ma, do you feel sad for grandpa's leaving?"
She replied, “对他来说，这是一种解脱。”

My grandfather has rest in peace today, at the age of 101. 

See you again, gong gong,
have fun up there!

♥하루 115 - romantic scene: stares longingly into 2013's eyes

Just like how the title puts it:

I feel so reluctant to let you go.. 2013. 

*holds hands*

So many things this year has given me, the experiences, the feelings, the lessons learned, the love given, the love received, the values acknowledged, God's miracles upon my life and everybody else's lives around me.  

Ok!!!!!!!

I NEED TO GO BACK TO MY AWESOME CHEWY ON THE INSIDES CRISPY ON THE OUTSIDE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES *wahhhh* (nothing like some amazing delicious yummy cookies to start the new year right?! YAAAAA!!)

"walao 要chewy 还是要crispy 的?!"

SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hehehe

♥하루 113 - Counting my blessings

Hi everyone! As I promised, I will start updating! I'm here to talk about one of the most important, most special, most loved, most beautiful, most considerate and the smartest, person in my life. 

Along these few days in the last month of the year, I've been so overcome by thankfulness when I look back at everything I have, the people, my family, friends that stayed with me through challenges and share the happiest moments 12 months down the road and it doesn't end here.

25 unknown number!!! years ago on the 22nd of December, my eldest sister arrive in this world on a lily (that's how they say for babies are borned with their legs crossed and head after! ouch) ---

...

"RAAAAH"

o_o 

sorry wrong picture hahah

o_o!!

no, no let me show you something more decent

oh wells hahahah

come I present you,

...

大姐，Eunice Koh Yan Ci! 

(in conjunction to the 大, which means Big in chinese and 姐，sister - the fonts are LARGE!)

Her photos are sooo entertaining I swear, could not stop laughing when I browse through her albums. She has the same birthday as my grandpa, they're born on the winter solstice. (yes, you remember tang yuen, homemade ones with ginger soup is classic!) Well, her birthday is 4 days (and 8 years) apart from mine - altho her physique is so much younger than me omg -.- However, despite the age gap, I'm so glad we're like friends to each other (and also wardrobe share-rs ahem) Just so you know, I have two sisters, Eunice & Joyce,  and they're one two in a million T_T sniff sniff

She always tries her best to bring joy to everybody else around her, trust me, I know. 

"I feel like an idiot!"

It was my 17th birthday last tuesday, she and a bunch of my favourite people launched "Mission Under The Sun" ☀☀ with a tad bit leakage from mummy koh (hee hee hee) and that was the quote of the day!

She tried so hard to make sure I'm not suspicious of any plans (laughs) but fact is I kind of already guessed but the efforts made are definitely not wasted! I had the time of my life!!!! More about that next time!

On my 16th birthday last year,

 She and kang lim organized a surprise trip to genting for me! I must be the luckiest person on earth, really. These two places I have not been before, and they finally made me a true malaysian! "oi! that's not the definition of a true malaysian ok what talking you" Hahahah "well.. you probably would never find any malaysians who stays in KL their entire life not having been to genting or sunway lagoon before!"

She's always one to plan ahead down to every immaculate detail, like whether I would need a conditioner (the answer is yes) and to bring my favourite flavoured cup noodles (that's not too hard cause I love to eat everything of every flavour) and to marinate the meat before we could bbq them and to bring an ice box and to bring two swimsuits for me to choose from and to wake up early enough to cook up an awesome big breakfast of heart shaped sunny side up's and beef patties for everybody and to bring nail clippers and plasters of all sizes and all shapes just so if anyone has an injury to be treated (which is me) LOLOL. 

...

She has super powers too!

Batwoman with my other super power sister (or is it brother in this case), Captain Jack Sparrow and her boyfriend Power Ranger!

Otherwise, Neytiri from Avatar with a very beautiful Wonderwoman who happened to drop by for the toilet (inside joke)

See, I never bluff you one!

But speaking about super powers.. there's really much more of that stuff she has

yup, kung fu powers too, yup.

...

My sister is a very intelligent person, and this I've always told the entire world about how smart is she in add maths and how horrible am I T^T (and it's true!) I'm very proud of her for all her accomplishments and believe that God will always lead her through the her current journey for masters in psychology. 

Well there's just too many things we have went through together to even summarize in this limited space. It's not possible. Nevertheless, I thank God for blessing me with 

 someone to sit on. HAHAHAHAHA.

a very beautiful sister! (Joyce is super gorgeous too - anyway, have you heard that praising your sister is just like directly praising yourself hee hee) / (pardon my face, this is a very old picture)

 

Someone that shares my love for food 

I'm not kidding! the similarities of our photo is epic x_x (we didn't eat all of those by ourselves ok but we still love japanese food. alot.)

And someone to take unlimited selfies with: 

"brace yourselves!"

and more. I'm afraid I'd piss you off but we're so cute so I guess not? HAHAHAHAHA.

I'm always really, really happy that my sister Eunice found the love of her life, the One given and gifted from God, her soulmate and who is also equally super nice,

they always have moments like these, HAHAHAHAHA. ♥♥♥♥♥

Someone that hates onions and garlic and butter (my honour to help her finish her food!), someone that

would spend the night listening to me complain and provide me advices and someone that is willing to spend money, time and energy for everybody around her just so they're happy. 

I still have so much to thank you for, sister, for everything you've done for me. Happy Birthday, praise the Lord for all we have and went through hand in hand.  ☺

p/s In fact, I feel like the worst sister in the world cause I could only afford a blog post (and a present: which is on it's way, but it's not much considering my financial situation LOL) to her while she has spent and given so much to me just to make me feel special despite the circumstances. Thank you again, eunice koh! :'(

p/p/s Sorry for the super old throwback photos well at least it shows progress! HAHAHA.

p/p/p/s I don't know why are the photos so blurred too, I'll send a report to blogger regarding this :(